Steinberg Blog

This is me with glasses.

This is me without glasses.

Every time I go to get a haircut, the barbers always ask me if I want the hair on the back of my head tapered or squared. I’m 26 years old and I still have no idea what that means. I just tell them to make me look good.

They rarely comply.

-Steinberg

Welcome to our first of hopefully many Rejection Fridays. It sounds bleak, I know, but trust me, it’s not.

You see, any cartoonist, however skilled and talented he or she may be, gets rejected. You simply don’t sell every cartoon you draw. There are many reasons for this. Sometimes, the cartoon you submit just isn’t right for the publication to which you are submitting. You won’t sell a cartoon about bowling to a fishing magazine (but if you do, I’d be interested to see how exactly they are fishing.) Other times, you have a cartoon like this:

No one is buying a cartoon like this.

And unfortunately, sometimes the editor just doesn’t particularly like the cartoon. Your friends may like it, your family may like it, strangers who stop you on the street and somehow know who you are may like it, but at the end of the day, they aren’t the ones making executive decisions at a magazine (usually a good thing.)

Getting rejected is part of the game. Cartoonists know they aren’t being personally rejected; rather, it’s the cartoon into which they’ve poured their heart and soul that is being thrown to the side of the road.

So it’s all good.

Anyway, here is a cartoon that hasn’t quite made it all the way. Is it because it just wasn’t a good fit? Is it because it isn’t funny in the slightest? Only history will tell.

Enjoy.

And in case this wasn’t dumb enough, here’s one last cartoon for good measure.

For every cartoon a cartoonist sells to a magazine or newspaper, he or she has had dozens of others rejected. The trick is focusing on what you sell, not what you don’t. And you know what they say…

It only takes one.

-Steinberg

I’d like to comment on a phrase I often hear; one that has on occasion been said to me.

“It only takes one.”

The context usually has to do with a person searching for that special someone. Mr. or Miss Right. And as a person goes through failed attempt after failed attempt to try to find his or her future spouse, people will say, “it may be tough, but it only takes one.” Someone said it to me a few days ago. It only takes one.

It only takes one? What a load of Uncle Al’s Grade-A Fertilizer.

What does “it only takes one” actually mean? It only takes one of what? You marry one individual person, but to find that lucky bundle of bones, flesh, and (hopefully) neurons, you often have to go through more unpleasant experiences than you can list on all your fingers and toes, even if your parents were cousins.

Dating, like anything else, takes work. I mean, look at Thomas Edison. It took the crazy nut 50 tries before he up and stole the light bulb from some guy named Swan, who deserved it for being named Swan. (These things are a process.)

So the next time you see someone studying for a big test, go up to them and say, “it only takes one.” They are not going to know what you are talking about and they might call library security because what you are saying makes no sense. Same here. Think about it.

-Steinberg

(Do libraries have security? Do they carry weapons?)

Having a beard you can’t trim or shave is like having a squirrel glued to your face. It’s wild, it will hurt you, and it makes you look crazy.

It also really doesn’t help with the ladies.

If I had a time machine, I’d probably just use it as a DVR.

I decided not to take any of the free candy on the receptionist’s counter at the dermatologist.

-Steinberg

Often I have thoughts. Sometimes they are coherent. On occasion they are interesting. Once in a while they are funny. In extreme circumstances, they can’t be turned into cartoons.

So I said to myself, what can I do about this problem? One solution was to keep those thoughts to myself. But seriously, who does that?

So here we are.

-Steinberg