I don’t think I’d consider myself a world traveler, but I’ve been around the globe once or twice, and I have to say, the “driving” exhibited by motor vehicle owners in Queens, NY is by far the scariest thing I’ve ever seen. Even the word “driving” is almost giving them to much credit. People in Queens clearly have a loose abandonment of self preservation.
But surely Queens doesn’t have the only collection of bad drivers, you say. Well, here’s the breakdown for you.
New Jersey: Incompetent. You feel like you are on the road with a state full of student-drivers. The way most New Jersey drivers behave on the road displays a basic lack of understanding of most, if not all, of Newton’s laws of motion. For example: objects in motion will remain in motion until they hit the front of your Goddam car which is sticking halfway out of the parking lot into oncoming traffic.
Manhattan: Aggressive. They will stop at nothing to get to where they want to go, but they have skills. A city bus driver knows how close to skim a curb without taking out all the passengers waiting to board. A taxi driver doesn’t want to hit a potential customer. And sure, accidents happen, (anyone who chooses to ride their bike in city traffic should not be surprised when they get flipped over the hood of a car) but a lot more people would get hit and be hit if no one knew what they were doing in the city.
Queens: Unstable. They are like two year olds with a case of misplaced anger. They swerve and merge, block traffic, and rear-end each other as if the end of the world is coming and they have mere minutes to get home (or away from) their loved ones. Like a scene out of a post apocalyptic movie, I traveled through the streets of Queens captivated by the anarchistic (which I am surprised to find out is a real word) way in which people took to the roads of their own accord. In most cities, getting from point A to point B involve turns, stoplights, and reacting to others on the road. In Queens, point A to point B is a straight line.
And don’t get me started with Australia. When I was driving in Australia I was the only one driving on the correct side of the road. Seriously. That place is messed up.
-Steinberg
Do these posts have anything to do with me driving you from Manhattan to Queens today??
That is an amazing rundown. And people think Israelis don’t know how to drive.
Avi – you forgot Pennsylvania drivers. Or as I like to refer to them, the “What a Day for a Daydream” crowd.
They act as if they’re going for a “Sunday drive” (does anyone still do that anymore??) in the middle of rush hour traffic. Yes Mr. PA Driver, I understand you have no clue where you’re going or how to get there now that you’re all of 30 miles out of your trailer park, but this isn’t another planet…here in NJ in order to reach your destination you MUST CONTINUE MOVING IN ITS GENERAL DIRECTION. And we still have places to get to even if you’re just content to ride around in the left lane going 45 miles an hour because you have nothing to do but gawk at our lovely oil refineries and strip malls. Get your stupid station wagon/RV/1985 Lincoln Continental to the beach or to the Statue of Liberty or wherever else it is that you’re on your way to or GET OUT OF MY WAY because I’m late for work!
How did the deathtrap known as Boro Park get excluded?
Looks like you recovered from scurvy. Hope those splotches disappear from your face.
Having driven all ’round NJ and NY i couldn’t agree more. I’ve been in 2 accidents and they both were in Queens. I’ve been in 34.5 close calls and they were in Manhattan and brooklyn